Depression and the horrible reality:
I dont mean to write such a glum and sad blog just after Christmas but a part of me thought this would be a perfect time talk about depression
We all know how wonderful and exciting Christmas can be and I am one of those people that is massively fond of the Christmas festivities. However I am also someone that really understands how lonely, frustrating and exhausting this time of year can be.
I suppose 2017 just hasn’t been my year. If I’m honest iv had a few bad years but this year just takes the biscuit. There is just always something happening that just sets me back.
Now for me growing up Christmas was just so magical and beautiful that when I got older I just thought it would be the same. Well I was terribly wrong. The older I get the more Christmas becomes stressful and I haven’t even got kids to worry about.
I love Christmas so much and everything about it so I really have been trying to keep my spirit in check but I can tell you now it hasn’t been easy! More emotions and concerns seem to arise this time of the year. It just seems like you are forced to have a good time and forced to put on that smiley face because its Christmas and everyone else around you are happy and in good spirits. However my realisation over the this last month is that actually Christmas can be such a lonely and sad time for people and I feel like this year I have been one of those people.
Honestly I haven’t wanted or meant to feel this way because I have got such a great family and friends around me but it was my first Christmas without my Gramps and so many other things have just happened that I have not wanted to enjoy myself!
Now of course I have spoken about my depression in the past, how I cope with it, what I have been through and how well I have been doing the last few months off medication. Now this isn’t going to be a blog about how my depression is back and how I am in a dark pace again etc. Its purely a blog to speak about depression, just because it is a happy time of the year it doesn’t mean that everyone around you is happy.
Lets start with the fact that this is the first Christmas I have had since my gramps passed away. Losing someone is hard enough, so when it comes to special times of the year and they are not around it makes it that more upsetting and hard to enjoy yourself over these times.
I do also find that no matter what people are always saying “don’t worry its Christmas” “be happy its Christmas” its just as though because it is Christmas we should all forget about our worries and troubles and forget it all? As lovely as that sounds it is not that simple!
For me, this year has been a real eye opener. I really have realised how hard Christmas is. I look around at all the people that haven’t got the family and friend support and are in-fact on their own and Christmas isn’t so special for them.
I really do not want to make it out that I have had the worst Christmas ever because that is so far from the truth! I have my family and I have my friends and that is enough.
Depression doesn’t just take a break over Christmas.