Love & the constant battle

LOve,Love,love!

So I’v been single for what – nearly 2 years ?? I cannot express enough how happy and content I feel ! I am not sad nor am I lonely. 

I will admit, there is some things about being single that aren’t so rosey! however these past 2 years have allowed me grow as a person. This may sound so ‘cliche’ but since becoming single I really have found myself. I thought I knew who I was and wanted before. Oh how wrong and naive young Laureen Rose was!

Previously, my life goal was to have 4 children (maybe more) become a wife and be a stay at home mum! Don’t get me wrong, this is still something I want one day, but I look back at my 18 year old year old self and don’t understand the rush. I was desperate for marriage and kids, in a relationship that I knew (deep down) wasn’t healthy for either partner. But when you think you’re in love you just want that typically perfect life.

If you read my blogs you now I know I have spoken about my previous relationship before, he was my first love and my god was I head over heels! all the bad that happened between us never mattered because I would have done anything for that man, I knew what a big and kind heart he used to have!

So tell me… how does a girl get over such a heart break. The love of your life just ends things. It makes no sense to you and all you can think about is how bad it hurts. A pain that cannot be described. Well fellow readers, you give her time to heal ! you make her powerful and use the strength from within so that  no one can get in her way, she cant be stopped.

Some may consider 2 years a long period of time. I 100% say short!! I truly am finding out things about myself that I never knew existed. I have more inner strength than I ever had in my relationship. I know what I want for myself and my life. I finally have goals and aspirations of my own! Something I never even thought about when I was with my ex, instead I devoted myself to him and was happy doing so. But for now being single is the best option for me so I can continue to get stronger and grow.

Many of you may be reading this thinking ‘is she still in love with her ex?’ but please know, you couldn’t be further from the truth. Of course we shared a huge part of my life and I will never deny what we did have. I really used to love him, but it is so clear to me now that we had was not healthy or happy.

So now, the question I get asked when I meet someone or see someone that I haven’t spoken to for a while “have you got yourself a fella yet?” when my answer is ‘no’ I can always see in their faces the sadness and pity. PLEASE, please don’t feel sorry for me! I can promise you now I have a clear head, happy heart and most strength of character that I’ve ever had. I have amazing friends around me and even more amazing family, these are the people that make my days better and fill my heart with love. 

Undeniably I have played the field (I am a single girl of course I am going to) I have had so much fun doing my own thing, met so many new people along the way and more importantly I have had fun. I call it the journey to self help and happiness!

I am in no rush to find ‘the one’ just yet. I am 24 years old, I have many years to find him, if he appears next week then fine! if he doesn’t appear for another 5 years then that is fine too! I am a true believer of the saying ‘everything happens for reason!’ and I believe everything that I’ve experienced/am experiencing is just a way of helping me, showing me how strong and capable I really am!

Now this blog isn’t a suggestion that being in a relationship is a bad thing nor I am saying been single is the best thing in the world! I am purely saying that being single is he best option for ME. I want to know how it feels to be really happy without having to rely on someone else to be my support, the real person to depend on for happiness is me. I want to accept my past move on and grow even more as a person. 

 

I came across a quote that I absolutely loved and gave me the biggest smile: 

The Devil whispered in my ear “you are not strong enough to withstand the storm” ~ Today I whispered in the devils ear “I am the storm”

 

PS. Never apologise for being a powerful fucking women. 

Au Revoir

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